The Acne Chronicles

I’m 37.  I have zits.  I don’t get carded buying beer anymore, I have a few wrinkles, and yet every single day I still spend time covering, popping, or otherwise trying to alleviate my 20-year old acne problem.  When will it go away?  WHEN?    On the bright side, I have tried every single over the counter, prescription, and expensive acne product out there, and now I am going to tell you about them.