The Acne Chronicles

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Of course, the morning after I proclaim that I am acne-free for the first time, I wake up this morning with three neck pimples, which I pop and then end up with splotches on my neck for the whole day.  What did I put on these to help them?  Cortisone cream, people!  Like they were bug bites, or maybe the bite of a vampire with three random teeth.

Seriously the neck pimples are weird, and I don’t like them.  Is this another lovely example of hormonal acne?   I had to pop them, because there is no way in hell I am going outside with whiteheads on my neck.   And, sorry to my two dermatologists.

Seriously, I am writing this post because this is the first time in TEN YEARS that I do not have even one pimple.  I am attributing this to luck and coincidence, of course.   Of course, I have totally been avoiding dairy (which has been hard, but I am sorry to say, is making a big difference in my acne problem).

Here are some other things I have been doing, in case this is some kind of random system that I have stumbled upon that might also work for you:

1.  Washing morning/ nighttime with Dr. Ohhira’s Probiotic Kampuku Soap. You can get this at iHerb.com at a discount if you want to try it.

2.  Using prescription Retin-A (actually, it’s the generic)

3.  Zapping all active pimples with a Zeno HotSpot.

Also, I have been taking fish oil and drinking a ton of water.  And of course, I just finished my period, and I don’t even want to talk about all the hormonal acne I had on my chin last week.  I was zapping it with the Zeno every night before bed.

My new dermatologist seems to have this magical theory that dairy is what causes acne—in everyone, all the time.  I think he says this to everyone who walks in the door with a zit. I humor him because at least once a month he fits me in for cortisone shots when hormone-related acne flare-ups make my face into a giant fiasco.   I must admit, when I lay off things like milk and pizza, my zits seem to not be as extreme.  But—really?  Am I supposed to never eat pizza or ice cream ever again, in my life?  This hardly seems realistic.  Can’t they just make a pill that counteracts whatever effect dairy is having on my skin?  They do it for lactose intolerant people so they can drink milk and not get gas, right?

Come to think of it, would it work if I started taking Lactaid pills or something like that?  What if that cured my acne once and for all?

Sometimes in a feeble effort to make my zits calm down so I can at least attempt to cover them up with the nine different types of concealer I keep on hand, I either freeze the really bad pimples with an ice cube or try to dry them out with my hair dryer and/ or a Zeno.  Then I have to let them sit for awhile, then I powder the whole face, then conceal.

I know there is a whole world of over 35 year old people out there who have to take these elaborate measures to get rid of acne, but it does make you feel ridiculous and alone, and like “wow, I should really have grown out of this by now.”  This is especially true when I have to dig into a zit on my chin to pull out a hair.  Oh yes, it’s TMI time here.

Seriously, am I going to have pimples until I hit menopause?  This is ridiculous.

Do I have zits because I touch my face too much?   The other day my husband mentioned that he tries to never touch his face (I believe this is because he hates getting sick and considers not touching his face with his hands a key component of his wellness strategy).  After he mentioned this I started trying to notice when I was doing it, and OH MY GOD MAYBE THIS IS THE REASON I HAVE ALWAYS HAD ACNE.  Aren’t you SUPPOSED to touch your face?   Now I feel totally weird, like I’m always trying to keep my hands off of it.  Yikes!  I don’t think this whole “not touching my face” thing is going to last because it’s so hard, but I guess it’s a good reminder for me to wash my hands more, at least.   But, that CAN’T be the only reason I always have zits, right?  If it is, I’m totally doomed.

Ugh!  Just caught myself doing it again.  I will probably wake up with a pimple in the exact spot where I was leaning my cheek on my hand just now.  Wonderful.

Dude, yesterday I noticed that there were three pimples on my neck, in various forms of development. I popped one of them and attempted to pop the other two, which just angered one of them. Now I have a couple of red spots and am wearing a turtleneck sweater. I just started getting pimples on my neck– what is up with that?